Good Ol' Boys

GOBGB : How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck? (#26)

he late summer sun warmed his skin. He squinted in the brightness of the noonday sun, standing motionless, sniffing at the air, watching the traffic stream by the end of the long field.

His attention was diverted to the approaching sound - growing louder and most definitely closer. Across the end of the field, the red combine moved along thrashing and whirling.

As the noise came closer, something made him move. He didn’t recognize the looming noise, but something deep down inside told him to head for cover.

He dove for cover, hitting the hole square in the center. From the safety of his burrow, he listened to the combine pass overhead, shaking the ground around him.

Currituck Chuck, the 3-foot tall groundhog, will live to see another day.

œŸ

“Man that chuck is fast,” exclaimed Bubba. “One minute he’s there, the next minute he’s hiding in that dang hole he’s dug.”

LeRoy laughed, “calling him by name now, eh?”

Bubba grumbled, “yeah, I have plans for him and his little buddies down there.”

“You’re starting to sound like a budding Elmer Fudd, to Chuck’s Buggs Bunny”, observed LeRoy with a chuckle.

“Yeah yeah, go ahead and make fun of me,” said Bubba. “I figure that little furball is worth $15,000, at least,” added Bubba.

LeRoy fell silent, then piped in, “how do you figure that?”

“Well you see, I’m planning on starting our very own tradition here in Currituck,” Bubba started.

LeRoy listened intently as his good friend continued.

“We’re gonna have us the 1st Annual Ground Hog Festival, right here in Currituck, and ol’ Chuck is going to be the star attraction - guest of honor as it were!” said Bubba while rubbing his hands together.

LeRoy listened in disbelief, and then asked his friend, “so you have this whole thing planned out? Care to elaborate?”

“Oh yeah, first we have the opening ceremonies on February 1 - a big old pancake breakfast thrown by the Currituck Lion’s Club. Then we’ll have a parade right down the middle of Caratoke Highway, from the courthouse o’er to Knapp School,” explained Bubba.

LeRoy cut in, “yeah that should keep ol’ Chuck entertained, if it don’t scare him half to death!”

Bubba continued, “we’ll have the Coinjock Ruritans cookin’ up some bar-b-que and hot dogs for lunch. That’s when we have the lil’ Miss Groundhog pageant. You know, it ain’t a good festival unless you have a pageant of some sort!”

LeRoy nodded and listened.

“And then we’ll close the days ceremonies out with some hot mulled cider, and a big ol’ bonfire.”

“Ok I hate to rain on your festival,” said LeRoy, “but where’s the groundhog come in?”

“Just hold your horses, will ya, I ain’t even gotten to day two!” exclaimed Bubba.

“Ok on day 2, we all gather out there on the ditch bank that Chuck calls home, and we wait for him to come out,” said Bubba, with a wild look in his eyes.

“I tell ya, if I had all them folks hanging around, waiting for me to pop my sleepy head outta the ground, you’d likely have a no show on your hands,” said LeRoy with a chuckle.

“Yeah well, you aren’t the star attraction,” observed Bubba.

LeRoy laughed out loud, and asked “OK so how do you figure ol’ Chuck is worth $15 grand?”

“Well you see, the Travel and Tourism Department is giving away money to promote these events - newspaper ads, fliers, radio spots, the works,” said Bubba.

LeRoy nodded in agreement as he listened.

“They gave away $5000 to that fella at the Brewery down in Grandy, just to promote a new festival he’s thought up,” continued Bubba. “And they said he could come back for up to three years and get more money to promote the dang thing.”

“So what are you gonna spend $5000 on each year?” LeRoy asked.

He pointed across the road, “I figure we get us some of Wilson’s wagons over there - rent em if we have to. And paint us up some signs to hang on em to promote the festival.”

“And you reckon people will come to watch that woodchuck come out of his hole?” asked LeRoy.

“I don’t really care if anyone shows up, I figure we can milk this thing for at least three years, before anyone is onto it!” said Bubba with a loud laugh.

• Next week: Sounds like a Broken Record…

This post has been viewed 236 time(s)

© 2006 NE NC News.